‘Bad News Barristers’ Rout ‘Pitch, Please!’ in Epic Performance

By Chris Lawson, Editor-in-Chief

The Bad News Barristers bounce back big after a devastating loss just a week ago. Efficient offense was the key to defeating the opposing team, Pitch, Please!, 7-0.

The lady Barristers came up big despite only having three to represent. Maddie “Hundred Dolla” Bills, Janna “JaRule” Ferraro, and Brooke “Tequila” Reno were the only ladies to make an appearance. This left six out of the allowed ten players on the field, per co-ed Vavi kickball rules. All three carried the team on their backs as the remaining six guys struggled to keep up.

Many runs can be credited to JaRule’s impressive base running as she made multiple clutch moves. If her Texas-sized strawberry on her right thigh isn’t an indication of her denominating performance, I don’t know what is.

The first set of runs came on a huge play by JaRule in the bottom of the second inning. Justin “Shanks” Hanks got to first base on a blooper to shallow left field. JaRule was next up. She approached the plate looking for some revenge after last week’s loss. JaRule worked the count full. Then on the last pitch she sent the ball to the gap in center field.

It was clear to all that JaRule and Shanks were going to safely make it on base. However, aggressive defense from Please! would be their instant demise. Center fielder from Please! tested JaRule ’s speed as he slung the ball toward first base. Please!’s first baseman stretched to make the catch, but to no avail: the ball narrowly missed his hands and quickly rolled toward the fence. As Shanks and JaRule made their way for extra bases, Dustin “the Blender” Pinder was standing in as third base coach. As the two runners darted toward the next base, Blender, possibly from all his years of experience, saw something no one else did and sent Shanks home and JaRule on to third.

As Please! regained consciousness from the Barristers’ aggressive move, they tempted fate one more time. Trying to make the play at third to get JaRule out – JaRule ’s speed was no match for a well placed ball en route to third base. JaRule took a mean slide into third base as the ball whizzed by her head and off the hands of Please!’s third baseman. The ball flailed toward the fence and JaRule got up and bolted home, giving the Barristers a 2-0 lead.

The next set of runs came from great plays by Dolla and Tequila in the bottom of the fourth inning. The boys continued to struggle to get on base when Dolla showed them how it was done. The mean curve ball from Please!’s pitcher didn’t phase Dolla as she kicked the first strike into deep right, easily making her way to second base. The boys failed once again to contribute when Reed “Reedie Bomb Beanie” Baker popped out to deep center, leaving Dolla stranded on second.

Tequila was the next one up to kick. Tequila waited for the right pitch by letting the first two throws go by. On the third throw from the pitcher, Tequila sent the ball to right center field, sending Dolla home and solidifying her second RBI (run batted in) double of the season.

Juan “Juanny Walker” Forero was next up to kick and made his way to first, advancing Tequila to third base. JaRule was next up and looked to build on her big game. After a couple of terribly thrown balls from the pitcher, JaRule waited patiently. The next pitch, JaRule kicked the ball between Please!’s third baseman and shortstop. The ball flew to outfield, and one more time Blender made a gutsy call by sending Walker home. Please! chucked the ball home but due to a misplaced throw, Walker easily scored, giving the Barristers a 5-0 lead.

The Barristers’ next two runs came on a huge play by Barristers’ manager and team stylist Matt “Matty Ice” Baker. With one out and one on, Ice made his way up to the plate feeling different about this at-kick, knowing the boys hadn’t contributed much to their run count. The first pitch came straight down the plate, and Ice kicked the ball deep to right field and placed the ball perfectly on the left side of first baseline. Chris “Christo_balla” Lawson trotted his way home as Ice rounded the bases, feeling like this could go the distance. As Please! raced to the ball in the deep pocket of right field, Ice blew through Blender’s sign at third and made his way home. The ball flew from right field right at Ice. Ice paid no attention to Please!’s attempt to get him out and barely made his way home milliseconds before the ball reached the catcher. The Barristers grew the lead 7-0 on Ice’s first home run of the season.

The Barristers continued to hold it down on defense, preventing any chance for Please! to score as they closed the game without giving up any runs. If the night couldn’t get any better for the Barristers, the local Jamba Juice members made their way to field to reward the victors with free smoothies.

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