Grades release last month was a stressful time for Cal Western students, especially second-trimester 1Ls who were receiving law school scores for the first time ever. Although grades are certainly important, it’s also important to forgive shortcomings and remember that no one is perfect. Everyone is human, including our awesome faculty.

To illustrate this point in a lighthearted fashion, The Commentary asked professors to share their worst grade or failure when they were in law school. Read their stories below, and then vote for your favorite.

    By Tandis Taghavi, Editor-in-Chief

Chapter 4: The Goblet of Fire (read Chapters One; Two; and Three)

Heart pounding, I jolted upright in confusion. Wiping the tiny salt bubbles from my forehead, I only hoped this was all a nightmare. Unlike Lord Voldem….who, in his weakest form, boldly took away Frank Bryce’s last breath, the Senate, in its weakest form, chose to look away as millions took their last breath on Saturday, October 6th.

The well-established eras of our history remind us that a Portkey is not necessary to refresh our recollection [FRE 612] on the fact that it is worse to be poor and innocent than rich and guilty. This is true even in the Wizard World. When a group of masked Wizards start a riot at the 422nd Quidditch World Cup, the Ministry of Magic arrives immediately only to blame Harry Potter (the one unconscious person) for the attacks and the illuminated Dark Mark floating in the sky.

What’s worse? Funny you should ask…the tiny, female house-elf, Winky, is then found holding Harry Potter’s wand. But rather than investigate the crime and rationalize how and what motive Winky could have had for casting the Dark Mark, Winky is instead publicly and embarrassingly fired by her master, Barty Crouch Senior (who was an influential Ministry of Magic official). But who dare question Barty’s authority and listen to a poor house-elf testify to her innocence? Did Winky even have the necessary personal knowledge to cast the Dark Mark? [FRE 602]. When such a powerful political figure has a reputation for fighting fire with fire, does it even matter? [FRE 608] According to this high ranked official, obviously it had to be Winky…especially since Barty is neither clearly bias nor is looking out for his own political welfare (*wink* *wink*…see impeachment below).

Triwizard Tournament

Similar to the process of becoming a Justice of the Supreme Court, one of the highest and most powerful positions in the nation, being selected for the Triwizard Tournament requires some minimum standards and skill. The Goblet of Fire (President) is supposed to be a magical and “impartial” object that ONLY chooses the worthiest and most competent [FRE 601] candidates to compete in the tournament (appointment). After a delegate passes the magical “Age Line” test (preliminary procedural standards and questionnaire), their name is entered on the ballot and the games begin.
Continue reading “Spotting the Issue: Confessions of a “Half-Blood” 2L (Pt. 4)” →

By Sara Gold, Editor-in-Chief

Ryan Stygar is a full-time 2L student at California Western School of Law. He is also a former firefighter, a current SBA class representative, and a published fiction author. His latest book, an educational outer space-themed novel called “Snot Rocket and the Weapon of Math Destruction,” was released on Amazon last week.

“It’s not easy, but there’s always a way to make time when you really love what you are doing,” Stygar said. Continue reading “2L Ryan Stygar publishes second fiction book” →

By Tandis Taghavi

Chapter 3: The Prisoner of Azkaban (read Chapters One and Two)

As a 1L, you may have thought your first semester of Legal Skills wasn’t that bad…after all, how hard can writing formal and informal memos be? You may have boogied into your Legal Skills II class with the same impression. However, as you cheerfully picked out your seat on the first day of class and briefly glanced at the syllabus, suddenly your palms became sweaty, your knees were weak, your arms were heavy, and you were trying not to vomit your mom’s spaghetti (Eminem can relate). While the words, “Oral Argument Assignment,” violently jumped off the page, only 2% of your class seemed to rejoice. If you are like most, you were probably ignited with a prickly case of hives and suddenly had a “Sirius” urge to grab your backpack and run to the unplottable graveyard of Azkaban.

“I felt weird, like I’d never be cheerful again…”—Ron Weasley

Like Harry (and myself), you may have felt chills as the windows turned to ice and a cloaked, dreary dark creature (Oh no…. Dementors!!) hovered behind you and slowly began to suck the happiness, hope, life, and peace out of you.

But don’t fear, Professor Remus Lupin is here! Continue reading “Spotting the Issue: Confessions of a “Half-Blood” 1L (Pt. 3)” →

By Tandis Taghavi

Chapter 2: The Chamber of Secrets (read Chapter 1 here)

Class of 2020!! Can you believe it? Our first year of law school is winding down. With less than 10 weeks to go, the closer we get to finals, appellate briefs being due, and oral arguments, the more it feels like walking into a colony of Acromantulas (this can be quite a sticky situation). Rightfully named the “Forbidden Forest,” its eerie roots are known to domicile these spooky creatures and mystical secrets. Aragog’s lair is considered unsafe for man, and therefore Hogwarts prohibits students from entry (beware ejectment). While trespassing onto these treacherous lands in search of the ultimate secret (how to survive law school), might delay studying for a Civil Procedure midterm, entering Aragog’s lair will make learning about affirmative defenses (FRCP 8(c)) seem like less of an intentional tort.

What is—The Secret?

Ah, at last, we are faced with the ultimate question. What is the secret behind success in law school? Do you really want to know? Continue reading “Spotting the Issue: Confessions of a “Half-Blood” 1L (Pt. 2)” →

By Tandis Taghavi

Chapter 1: Muggle Studies

Congratulations, you’ve been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Here you will learn the secrets of magic and the laws behind it. Your transformation from a muggle to a witch or wizard will be lengthy and stressful. Through these chapters, I hope to ease the process and explain some challenges you will face, like learning spells (also known as the rules of law).

Both in law school and in the world of Hogwarts, the common phrase “knowledge is power” has been known as an overarching theme. Hogwarts selects students carefully and rigorously for an exclusive education, although the acceptance letter arrives by an owl rather than through ordinary mail (after your first semester of Contracts you might see this again and think Mailbox/Dispatch Rule). The same is true of law school. You will face Professor Snape who smells the fear of 1L’s, abides by the Socratic method, and is terrifying. You may encounter Professor McGonagall who is firm but fair. You could even have a Moody Professor who has a “Mad-Eye” for the law.

There are a few things I wish I was told before I walked into my first week of law school. Continue reading “Spotting the Issue: Confessions of a “Half-Blood” 1L” →